You know, sometimes life has so much stress that we forgot about why we do things.  Sometimes I forget my personal reason for becoming Wiccan.  But, when I signed on today, my heart sighed with happiness.  I can remember that it was because I felt the tug of nature and it feels right, in my soul.  So, even though I'm a bit stressed because of the dedication ceremony tomorrow night, I know why I'm doing this, and I wont forget that.

*sigh*  Another blog where I complain.  Sorry 'bout that.

Well, my friend's (Eclipse) parents found out.  About her being Wiccan.  It did not sound pretty.  They are not open minded people, and they don't listen to reason very well, nor would definitions and explanations work well.  So, the entire (well, maybe not entire) side of her mother's family thinks she worships Satan.  I do not want to be in her shoes.

So, my friends Luna and Eclipse are coming over Friday night, when we plan to hold our dedication ceremony.  It seems all rather unreal.  The days "tripped by on rosy wings," to quote Harper Lee.  It seems that we had 23 days left (when I started to actually count) and now, we have two.  Like I said, it feels totally unreal.

My main 'fear' is that it won't be magickal enough.  What I mean by that, is that, I really want to feel the energy.  I dont want it to end up being my friends and I saying some words and not being able to mean them.  It seems kind of a pointless fear, as when I read over the words, I know they're true and magickal.  It could be like the stage fright people get when performing a play, even if they do well in the end.  But this is more than just lines to a play.  Oh well, I'll trust teh Goddess and the God to make the evening something worth remembering.  =]

Good night!  and Blessed Be.

So, my week hasn't been bad, but it seemed to be so long.  We finished up our midterms today.  It looks like I'll actually have to put effort into school xD.  My friend Luna's party was okay, it was a combo b-day party for her, my boyfriend, and one of our friends.  It was kind of awkward in some respects, because it didn't feel like Halloween (I never got a costume this year) and it didn't feel like we had the proper attitude towards what Halloween, and Samhain means. 

So, my friend is having a rough time, as you might know if you read her blog.  And I feel lousy because her blogs are a couple days old and I just commented now.  I wish I could do more to help, but I really don't know what to do.  My other friend, Eclipse, has some similar issues and I don't know how to help them.  I feel kinda useless.

Of course, this is added with the high school personal drama of trying to find out who you are, what your place in this world is, and trying to make yourself a better person.  Out of those three, I'm having the hardest time with the last one.  I don't like to curse, though I do often enough, and really excessively if I'm mad.  It makes me feel kinda dirty inside, like my soul gets dirty.  Usually I get that feeling when I curse unnecessarily, which is most of the time.  Though, many will agree that there are some situations which call for the more extreme words of the English language.

I'm also trying to be a better person because I've been looking up Shadows recently.  I understand that they are the 'unaccepted' part of our souls that we push away and hide, the sites I've looked at agree on that.  Actually, I haven't found any contradicting information in my search, but it's not very expanded.  But my friends' Shadows have been more malignant than it seems they should be.  They worry about protection from them, I try not to.  All the sites I've read say that you have to embrace your Shadow and one way (and the along the path into Shamanism) is to have a near death experience.  I don't think I can schedule myself for one of those.  So, I'm trying to acknowledge which actions and feelings are from my Shadow self and embrace them as a part of me, but easier said than done.

Basically, in my life right now, I feel like I have it so easy but I'm not satisfied and I feel like I need something to complain about.  I don't know if my current complaints are justified, but I doubt it.  My life isn't perfect or smooth sailing, but I have it a lot easier than some of my friends do, so I feel bad complaining.

*sigh* I just don't know sometimes.  Anyways, I'm tired, so I'm off to bed.

Blessed Be!

Oh, P.S. does anyone know about particular deities that are known for animal companions, hamsters and other rodents in particular?

Hi!  My name (or rather, my name-to-be) is Kione.  I'm in high school and I live in SoCal.  I've decided rather recently to become Wiccan.  My interest was first peaked by a friend who is Wiccan.  While at first, we weren't all that close, we're really close friends now.  My best friend from all the way back in second grade is also Wiccan.  The three of us are newbies, and we're trying to figure it all out. 

 Their parents are very.. close-minded.  My parents, thankfully, aren't, as I was the worst at hiding my library books.  They know.  They're not very comfortable with it, but they accept it.

 My friends and I are planning our Dedication Ceremony.  Unfortunately, all the full moons are during holiday weekends.  (The full moon on Friday is the day before my sister's birthday.)  So, we planned it for a dark moon.  The main problem is that there are three of us, plus two of our friends who want to come.  And, we have no clue where we're going to have it.  Of course, we could always have it inside, but it seems that we wouldn't really experience it properly.  But, if we do the ceremony outside, we'd have the (not so) small obstacle of our parents. 

 Luna, my friend, says she can wait, and she has for around a year now.  But I'm not so patient.  I don't want to be unprepared and rush head-long into this, but I sorta feel like I shouldn't call myself a Witch until after my Dedication.  So, I want things to be official, so I can release the breath I've been holding.  But I'm afraid that we won't be able to pull it off without our parents finding out.  I'd tell my mom and ask her about it, but I'm not sure about her reaction.  If she said no, I'd prolly still do it anyways, but she'd know, and she'd be uncomfortable.  *sigh*

 Well, I suppose I should put my brain to work :).

 Blessed Be!